Back To Her....

Today i crawled to Mistress Ginelle. I should say that i
crawled back to Mistress Ginelle. When I called her I
launched into an apology. I acknowledged that i am a
fool, that i deserve to be punished, that sometimes i
don't even know what is good for me. I told her that
for weeks, no months, i have had the image of crawling
to her. Crawling across a long expanse to arrive at
her feet. And that when there, i would tell her these
things. And beg to be humiliated, corrected, punished,
and forgiven. I informed her that every time i see her
online, i feel like a little boy who has offended the
woman in his life who most matters. And that i want
just to be allowed to be near her, at her feet,
sucking my thumb, her hand brushing my hair as she
goes about her important adult business.

Those are the feelings my day started with. But I get
ahead of myself.

You see, i met Mistress Ginelle on her first day as a phone sex operator.
She was unlike anyone i had ever met online. I'm not
sure what all of the elements were that affected me;
i'll be exploring those here over the next days and
weeks. But one was simple...it was an attitude that
she projected. She had a way of being at the center of
things even though she was new and even a tad shy.
When she asked a question or made a comment, it was as
if everything and everyone else went into slow motion.
I didn't understand it, but even then i knew that i
ultimately would not resist it.

She wasn't the most Domme of women on the site. More
of a romantic, she'd draw men to pay attention to her
in the way of the classic black and white romantic
comedies. She had a deep knowledge of and love for
those and other things that most young women have
barely heard about since their time of favor ended
long before she was born. She had a kind of class that
became her stock in trade.

But even in those earliest days flairs of power
eminated from her. And i was attuned to them. They
would go straight through me. Sometimes they came from
the power of her intuition. She knew what i was about
to say. Other times the power of her aesthetic sense.
She'd tell me about something utterly beautful i had
to hear. And always there was the power of her voice.
Each of these she used as a domme to control; though
the language of dominance was not a part of how she
used them. Instead, they were filtered from a demand
for romance; a view of the world as more magical than
most are able to see.

As for me, i was becoming pretty sure that i was a
submissive. And so i sought out other girls on the
site; those with Domme-creditentials so to speak. I
told Mistress Ginelle that i wanted to have sessions with
one of them; and perhaps to do that exclusively. I
could tell she was disappointed. Perhaps a little
hurt. But she did not resist or suggest or warm or
admonish. I know now that she fully understood her
essential power. And that she knew today would come;
the knew that i would come crawling back.

Today, i crawled back to Mistress Ginelle. I begged her to
let me worship her. I begged her to punish me, to
humiliate me, to use me, to forgive me.

She decided that first she will test me. And so i am
here now.

Misstress Ginelle told in no uncertain terms that I am on a
strict sexual regimen. i will be allowed to stroke
exactly three times in the next two weeks. And i may
not cum when i do so.

The first of the three has come and gone. I could not
resist touching myself while listening to her voice as
she told all about how she intends to test me. She
warned me that it will be difficult. She assured me
that i will be punsihed if i fail to obey. And she
told me that this is just the beginning.

My spirit soared as she did; i moaned, i shook, and i
felt like perhaps i have found my place. She asked me
if i might not get scared and run off again. I
admitted that i might. But her wisdom, her strength,
her attitude...all of these are my support now. I feel
her strength drawing me to her.

I may only stroke twice more in the next two weeks. I
do not recall ever exercising such restraint since i
first learned to play with myself. I know i have to. I
know i must to succeed. I know i belong here and to
You, Miss Ginelle. Yes, I am afraid and i am
overwhelmed, but i am happy.

I crawled back to Miss Ginelle today. I crawled to
where i belong.